When you go through hell - keep going! One day at the time. Follow your inner light, look for good feeling thoughts and find your greatness within.
Today I felt like writing a different kind of post. No science, no methods only love and compassion. I know there are many people struggling in different ways. So I wanted to say that I know. I know the feeling when everything's just falling into pieces when you try so hard and still can't put the things together. I know how it feels not to fit in, to be different, to blame yourself for everything that is happening and when you wish you could get out of your own skin. I know how it feels to lose someone so dear to you and deep inside believe it was your fault. I know that hopeless feeling of depression and when it seems that there is no end to it. I know what it means to go through the day as a long turbulent flight with that strong feeling in the gut as if your stomach is eating itself up. I know what it means to follow people's opinions and guidance, to try to fit into the system only to have left with a complete emptiness inside. I know the feeling of playing the role with the mask of the person who others need you to be, when you cant express your true self and it sucks the life out of you. I know what it means to give all your heart and energy to serve others and have nothing in return. I know the feeling when you just can’t get up from your bed in the morning, cause what’s the point? I know how it feels to fail a hundredth times and not have the power to lift yourself up to try again. I know confusion, I know disappointment, I know fear, worry, and sadness. Even though your experience is unique to you. I know. I feel you.
And I also know that it’s OK! It is OK to feel whatever you are feeling. It’s OK not to get out of your bed and stroll around in your pajamas all day. It’s OK to shut yourself down and disconnect from others. It’s OK to not want to listen to anyone's advice, because how could they possibly know? It’s OK to call in sick when you just can’t make yourself go to the job you hate. It’s OK to say NO to others. It’s OK to be selfish and ignore others' needs, because how could you give when you are empty inside? It’s OK to kick doors out of your frustration (not people's face though… unless you just imagine that - that's cool). It’s OK to lock yourself in the bathroom and cry for hours in your towel. It’s OK to drown your disappointment in a bottle of wine sometimes. IT’S OK! Just don’t make a career out of it.
Take your time, feel what you have to, be patient with yourself, be compassionate. Allow your emotions to flow and be released. Give yourself some time to grieve, to heal, to embrace what is, to accept, to find your truth, to recover your energy. And if you can’t - ask for help, it’s not the sign of weakness, it is absolutely not! It is caring, it is loving yourself, it is showing your guts, it is dealing with shit, it is increasing your power, it is being courageous! And when you do that, when you make a decision to deal with it all - it is when your transformation will begin. Then you will understand that every trouble or experience you have gone through was there to make you grow, to make you stronger, to help you understand, to change your perception, to activate the compassion and love within, to discover who you truly are, to know the limitless power inside of you.
And then you will be left with peace, love, and fulfillment. You will know that everything in life happens for a reason. You will find that there are no coincidences in life, just a beautiful orchestration of the events of different significance, but all perfectly guiding you through your life path. You will find your personal guidance within, you will be empowered, you will see the potential and greatness in you. You then will understand the value of a negative event or experience, you will know that without a problem there could not be a solution. A solution that may come to you but is meant to be delivered to so many others through you. And maybe you will stop sorting your experiences into good and bad, maybe you will learn to accept whatever comes without labeling it and be grateful for it. Then you can live a life full of joy, unconditional love, and compassion. And you will change the world by your example.
So for now, if you are still stuck, take a deep breath and say out loud: I am where I am and it’s OK. I am where I am supposed to be. I am a work in progress. I don’t need to rush. I don’t need to solve all my problems at this very moment. I can take my time. And even if it seems bad, and it feels bad, it is never as bad as it feels. And just because I can't see the way out (I look through the filter of my problem) it doesn’t mean that the solution is not there. Oh, it’s there! Because when the desire to feel good is so strong there are hundreds and thousands of avenues being created for the solution to be realized and all I need to do is to align with it vibrationally. The energy of Source is always available for me, is always guiding me and shining the light on my path with unconditional love and compassion. And all I need to do is to remove my shades of the problem and allow the solution in. Let go and let God. I believe that every person who has ever overcome the big struggle and found themselves in a much better place was once standing exactly where I am now. So there is nothing wrong with where I am standing now except that bad feeling that I have. And the negative feeling only shows that my Inner Being has a different opinion around the subject. My Inner Being just loves me, loves me, loves me and me, not allowing the love to flow in, is what causes the pain. But I am in control and I can let go of a problem, I can let go of my desperation for a particular outcome, I can remove my shades and finally see the sun shining. I know that after the storm comes the rainbow. And I know that the sun is coming up every single morning and there is no one in this world to make it stop, but I need to remove my sun shades to see it. I need to remove my focus from the problem and point it towards the solution, towards the good feeling thoughts and emotions. I remember how it is to feel good, I can find that spark of good feeling inside of me. In fact, I think it should be easy to feel good. It’s all about letting go of the resistance, letting go of the weight I have been carrying, letting go of other people's opinions on how I need to be, feel or what to do. Because I don’t have to explain anything to anyone, all I need is to look within and let the light and love flow from inside. I can do that! I believe I can do that. I actually know I can do that. And if I don't feel like getting up out of my bed in the morning, I will stay there and enjoy my fluffy pillows. And if I sit in my pajamas in front of the TV all day eating a bucket of ice-cream I will call it a luxurious retreat (because I have retreated all the way from my bedroom and on the ice-cream box it’s written LUXURIOUS). Whatever the excuse I can come up with only to feel good. Because I know feeling good is the way, feeling good is the key.
Then, when I want to feel a little better I will write my ‘TO DO’ list and it will say:
To make my bed
To take a shower, a long one
To put my favorite socks on, first the left one, then the right one
To boil one egg and eat it
To take a nap, like 5 times a day
To listen to my favorite song on repeat
Look at the mirror and smile
And I will mark each of those things as done, one by one, and I will praise myself for my achievements of the day. And the thought ’’How silly’’... I will not allow it in, I will not let this thought diminish my great work towards a better feeling. I will tell myself I am a part of Universal Consciousness and I am doing the most important work - raising my vibration and getting in alignment. And I am. And I am great! And I will rise as a Phoenix from the ashes all empowered and strong. And I will be beautiful as a butterfly who came out of a caterpillar that was brave! And I will be transformed and it will be worth it, worth every single struggle. And all of it will finally make sense. And I will continue living with inner-peace, trust and appreciation spreading the joy for others. And my days will be filled with messages like this one.
Keep going, one step at the time and know that there is such greatness within you.
I love you. I'm with you.